So The Baby is due March 15th, which also happens to be Purim, and which also happens to be the Ides of March which has all sorts of scary/weird implications. Excellent.
Currently, I am oscillating between:
A. The full knowledge that I am about to once again enter (willingly) what I refer to as the Sleep Gauntlet From Hell , or, SGFH. And this time…it could be worse. Way worse. Because now, I have a toddler. Indeed, the crapshoot that is bringing a new person into this world is that they may not in fact be the chill cucumber of a kid your first child was. A point several smug family members keep insisting on reminding me. Thanks.
B. The full knowledge I am once again about to get super-stoned on natural doses of oxytocin, which for me, rivaled any and all recreational drugs taken in graduate school. And this will potentially extend to The Boy as well, since I have a tendency to just roll with the high and spread it around me to other children in the vicinity and suddenly become Mother Goose on quaaludes.
C. Nervousness that this birth might not be the birth I had with The Boy, which was fantastic. Frankly, I want to know what all the Orgasmic Birth stuff is about. I feel like only super-thin women who do yoga and eat seeds all day engage in this sort of experience, but then I am reminded that women of my shape (curvy, Rubenesque perhaps?) have traditionally been seen as representing the height of what is considered feminine. Therefore, any marvelous sexy experience should originate from my people, the Women of the Second Helping who think yoga is great with brunch and that seeds are a garnish for something yummier. Like pasta. PASTA….
D. Wondering if I simply have zero control over how The Boy experiences the loss of being an only child. When I was an only child and loved it. Awkward. Also, on preserving the routines that mean the most to him, such as the Toddler 3 S’s (Shower, Stories and Snuggle) and some weekly one on one time with mama, when mama is an Attachment Parent and will struggle to be away from The Baby for like…a year. Oye.